Mental Health jokes

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Please End My Depression And Suffering.

Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

Remember, if you are suffering from paranoia...

You are not alone.

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

Me: Mom, I'm tired.

Mom: "Then go to sleep."

Me: No, you don't understand-

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.

Except my depression.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~

Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.