Mental Health jokes

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso expresso.

JK, it's bleach.

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Please End My Depression And Suffering.

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

Remember, if you are suffering from paranoia...

You are not alone.

Me: Mom, I'm tired.

Mom: "Then go to sleep."

Me: No, you don't understand-

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.

Except my depression.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~

Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.