Mental Health jokes

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

Suicide squad.

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

What did the orphan say to the crippled man?

I suffer from crippling depression.

What do you call a depressed a cappella group?

Self-Harmony.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.

My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.

It’s called Enditol.

Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"

Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

Maths...

....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.

I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.