Mental Health jokes

How do you get an emo out of the tree?

You cut the rope.

I can hear the whole world booing me.

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.

Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.

If I die, does my depression die with me?

Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.

Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

Where do depressed people go to eat?

Suicide Sonic.

1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"

The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

Can't wait to meet you!

So join the Depression family!

We open real soon!

Try best to hold onto sanity!

Phone: YEETED.

TikTok: DELETED.

Therapy: NEEDED.

Wife: BEATED.