Mental Health jokes

Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Their focus is always off.

What did the orphan say to the crippled man?

I suffer from crippling depression.

Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.

My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.

It’s called Enditol.

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

what's the worst thing to say to an emo?

if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.

I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.

It’s called Trycoxagain.

Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.