Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
what's the worst thing to say to an emo?
if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
