Mental Health jokes
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
A depressed kid tried to give a tree a high-five, but the tree left him hanging.
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.