Mental Health

Mental Health jokes

Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?

Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.