Memory jokes

My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.

He never talks about it.

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

What do 9/11 and gender have in common?

They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.

I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.

Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

USA: "Never forget 9/11."

Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)