Meat jokes
What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?
Spam.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
What did the cat say to the jar of cookies?
"Ground beef!"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.