Meat Jokes

I'm not gay, dick.

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

What do you call an infant with no legs?

Ground beef.

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.

Haha, yeet my fuckin' meat!

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?

The cat is still alive.

What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?

Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.

Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

She replies, "Really original."

Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

She replies, "Ew, gross."

Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

Winner dog 3.

How do you eat a meat?

You steak it in your mouth.

What do McDonalds and priests both do?

They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.

What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.

So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.

What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?

The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.