What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.
Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?
A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
