Meal jokes
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
I ate a watch once... it was time-consuming.
When do astronauts eat lunch? At launch time.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
I tried to eat a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
One time I ate a chair.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What's a skeleton's favorite food? Spare ribs.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!