Meal jokes
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Never eat more than you can lift.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
Answer: The table part.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
His left shoulder.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
fff.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!