Meal jokes
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.