What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
Meal Jokes
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
