One time I ate a chair.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
What does Stephen hawking eat for his breakfast lunch and dinner
His shoulder
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
