ME jokes
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Bully: Your fat.
Me: Fat is something to fix, but your face isn't.
I'm really bored. Can someone talk with me? None of my friends are responding to me :(
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
What is depressed and gay? Me.
Okay, I love reading Freshfry's conversations with random people. I love the ones where he has a full blown talking battle. I personally like reading them and I love reading them on my Chromebook while I play Call of Duty and Fortnite on my Xbox.
If you guys out there like reading Freshfry's conversations with random people, just comment and tell me. Talk to you guys later, watersharky out.
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
*Chatting with a stranger on the internet*
Me: Hi, how are you?
A stranger: I'm fine, hbu?
Me: I'm good. 🤷♂️
I told her roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you! MF😅🤣😂
!!️!!️HOLY FUCKING 🖕👦 SHIT!!️!!️!!️!!️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING 👩💞 AMONG 💰 US 🇺🇸 REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 😱! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG 💑👨❤️👨👩❤️👩 US 👨 IS THE BEST 👌💯 FUCKING 💦🍆👀 GAME 🎮 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 RED 🔴 IS SO SUSSSSS 🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 COME 💦🏃🏃♀️ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH 👀 ME SCAN 👀 🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🏥 WHY 😡🤔 IS NO ⚠🚫 ONE 1️⃣ FIXING 👾 O2 🅾 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 OH 🙀 YOUR 👉 CREWMATE? NAME 📛 EVERY 💯 TASK 📋 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus 🌈🏳️🌈! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus 🌈🏳️🌈 Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus 🌈🏳️🌈! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I 👥 think 🤔 it was purple!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀It wasnt me I 👁 was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂