ME jokes

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?

Me: 😈

Why did you and Sarah break up?

'Cause she cheetahed on me.

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger sister.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?