ME jokes

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.

Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.

Bully: You're a loser and fat.

Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.

I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...

Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?

Me: More than you!

The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?