Math jokes
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?
He forgot to adenine!
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
@iamloser I did something similar! 😏 took me three tries though.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.
I cum (Can't understand math).
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Calculate my dick, virgins!
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"