Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw future then the husband answered her " I have no Eye dear"
Grandma: young people your age are married by now,why aren’t you?
Me: old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
what do you call it when you get married in panera bread
panera wed
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ̈You look like a million pounds! ̈ The wife divorced him.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Why does a married heterosexual man want a anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside a adult book store? because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man
Why did Ms Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I canteloupe.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
Why can’t Orphans get married ? Because they were already given away
What do bees 🐝 do when they get married? They go on a honeymoon.
So Kenny finally found his one true love. But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Why don’t cheetahs get married? They always cheat on each other
Why can't an orphan get married. It doesn't have its parents blessing.
