Marine life jokes
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
Memes
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.