Marine life jokes
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
Why don’t clams like to share? Because they’re very shellfish.
How do u make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles! Hahaha.
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
What is the strongest creature in the sea? A mussel!
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"