Mar jokes

Forehead

Hairline

Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.

Dinosaur

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

Memes

Career

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Day

Earlier that day...

Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.

Mission on space.

Mars: Moon? You okay?

Moon:...

Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!

*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*

Interview

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

Mission

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.

And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"

Planet

Me: Name all the planets.

Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.

Me: Not my anus!

Forehead

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."

Water

NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!

I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!

Poem

Frank Bulgin is freaky bold, A man with a spirit untamed, untold. With eyes that pierce through the darkest night, He walks a path that's far from light.

His steps are loud, his presence strong, A force of nature, where he belongs. Through the chaos, he finds his way, Leaving footprints that never fade.

A rebel soul, unafraid to speak, His words drip with passion, so unique. He dances with danger, embraces the unknown, Challenging limits, into the wild he's thrown.

No rules can bind him, no walls can contain, Frank Bulgin sets fire to the mundane. He paints the sky with vibrant hues, A kaleidoscope of dreams he pursues.

In his mind, a symphony of thoughts, An artist's palette, where inspiration is sought. He weaves words like a masterful bard, Creating tapestries that leave us marred.

With each verse, he unravels his soul, Unveiling the depths that make him whole. His poetry, a window to his essence, A glimpse into a world of fearless presence.

Frank Bulgin is freaky bold, A maverick, a legend yet to be told. His spirit roams, forever untamed, A beacon of courage, never to be tamed.

Memes

Illusion

Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked

A kitten sits in a green bowl. The bowl's shadow is visible on the ground, and it appears that the bowl is floating, creating an optical illusion. The image is on a website called Memedroid with menu items on the left and popular taggs on the right.

Wheel

Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context

A screenshot of a website called "wheelofnames.com" with a wheel. The sections of the wheel contain: priest, prostitute, autistic, racist, transphobic, porn, woman, and shooting. To the right of the wheel there is a list with the same words. The text on top of the wheel says "The world stands with Ukraine". The website offers a feature to spin the wheel from within Discord.

Community

Hello. I’m the owner of Tesla, SpaceX, The Boring Company, and a lot more. I’m also the owner of Twitter. I’m also the soon-to-be ruler of Mars. I’m the smartest person in the world, and I’m also a real-life Tony Stark. And, by far, the most handsome man alive. At least 20x better looking than Brad Pitt or George Clooney. And at least 500x better looking than Leonardo DiCaprio. All that being said... I still wish I w… Read more

Poll

Hello, Today I am going to talk to yous about Mars. Mars is a great place with great views. Mars capital city is the Netherlands. Mars population is 12.3 people.Accept the things you cannot change, have the courage to change the things you can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.Hello, Today I am going to talk to yous about Mars. Mars is a great place with great views. Mars capital city is the Netherlands. Ma… Read more