Mar jokes
Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.
Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!
NASA found water on Mars.
Mars - 1
Africa - 0
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
WTF is going on in texas
As a man can confirm
Community talk
Hello. I’m the owner of Tesla, SpaceX, The Boring Company, and a lot more. I’m also the owner of Twitter. I’m also the soon-to-be ruler of Mars. I’m the smartest person in the world, and I’m also a real-life Tony Stark. And, by far, the most handsome man alive. At least 20x better looking than Brad Pitt or George Clooney. And at least 500x better looking than Leonardo DiCaprio. All that being said… I still wish I was… Read more
Hello, Today I am going to talk to yous about Mars. Mars is a great place with great views. Mars capital city is the Netherlands. Mars population is 12.3 people.Accept the things you cannot change, have the courage to change the things you can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.Hello, Today I am going to talk to yous about Mars. Mars is a great place with great views. Mars capital city is the Netherlands. Ma… Read more
Grenade by Bruno Mars