Many jokes
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because there's too many jokes about Sally.
YEET YEET YEET YEET YEEET EYYYETETETYETEYETYETTEYTEYTEY EYYEYETYETYETYETYETYETEYEYEYEYEYTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
How many YEETS are there?
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot!
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.