Many jokes
How many Africans does it take to change a light?
A water bottle.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.
Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)
Boobless.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
Wow, why so many of the same joke?
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.