New Man Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

What say the child to the man? Shalom.

Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"

Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"

Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."

Actually, Iron Man is female.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."

Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

How do you break up a fight between two gay men?

Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?

One was born burnt.

What do you do when a woman is choking?

Back up a couple inches.

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"