Madness

Madness Jokes

Orphan

When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?

Sugar

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa.

Eating sugar?

Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.

Smoking? Telling lies?

Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

Bruise

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

Russia

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

Wife

My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.

Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.

Fence

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

Makeup

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Date

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Grade

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

Tractor

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

Fire

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Cow

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

People

How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.

Quarterback

"You did great!"

"Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"

"Nah, that's okay."

"Here's the quarterback."

"You don't want the quarter?"

"No! Quarterback!"

"Huh?"

(Crashes) (screams)

"Yo, sorry 'bout that."

"You think he's gonna be mad?"

"Who? Baldi?"

"Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"

(Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)

Chicken

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.