MA jokes
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-SCARE-a!
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
My friend has ligma...
Lick ma balls!
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
Ma name is Bendover.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, ma bored.
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Call me Willma, Will ma balls fit in ya mouth?
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"