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Nickname

24 views · 《 rmk 》 · 3 years ago

so unexpected 👌

The image shows a conversation thread where one person calls the other "sweetheart." The second person asks if that's okay, and the first person says, "You can call me anything you like." The second person replies "Okay Optimus Prime."

Afghanistan

166 views · Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A photograph of a television screen showing the streaming service Tubi. The movie displayed is titled "Osombie," listed as 2012, 1 hr 35 min, TV-MA, Action, Horror. The synopsis reads: "While in Afghanistan, a Colorado yoga instructor and a NATO special forces team encounter an undead Osama Bin-Laden and his zombie terrorist army." The movie poster image shows the zombie Osama Bin-Laden with glowing blue eyes and a beard. Over the image, text says, "tubi genuinely be having anything."

Chicken

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a comic strip with 6 panels. The first panel shows a man standing in a kitchen. The second panel shows the man about to crack an egg in a bowl. In the third panel a chicken pops out of the egg with a cracking sound and flames next to the man's face. In the fourth panel the chicken thanks the man for freeing it and says it will grant him a wish, showing the man a little surprised. In the fifth panel the man makes the wish that he wants an omelette. In the last panel, the man looks exasperated as the chicken looks at him next to the omelette in the pan.

Load

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A four-panel cartoon. The first panel shows a car driving on a bridge with a "LOAD LIMIT 10 TONS" sign. In the second panel, the father and child are in a car, the child asks "HOW DO THEY KNOW THE LOAD LIMIT ON BRIDGES, DAD?" The third panel shows the father thinking about a matrix equation and the structural load analysis of a bridge. In the fourth panel, the father, now looking dumbfounded, says: "OH. I SHOULD'VE GUESSED."

Libra

1 view · Cahyani Ambara · 3 years ago

Barbie

A male Barbie doll is spraying himself with a large bottle of perfume. The text above his head says "libra" and the text next to him says "buying expensive shit they don't need."

Vote

4 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

If only true Americans voted:

A United States map is displayed with states colored red or blue to represent an election outcome. The legend shows Harris with 31 electoral votes and Trump with 337, suggesting a landslide victory for Trump. The user can select a party, show a toss-up, or a third party and see the state breakdown below.

Water

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a two-panel comic. In the first panel, a person is facing left and saying "Gasp! Oh no." above them. There is a speech bubble that says "Still water". A black cat sits below them. The second panel has a black dog with the trollface on its head saying "Gasp! Oh no." and "Hawk time!". Below the comic, the text "Those who started the event winter arc" is written and an evil looking face.

Poop

2 views · Johnathon · 2 years ago

Ghost poop

An image from the tv show "Unsolved Mysteries" with the text, "when you take a massive poop but when you wipe-and-check there's nothing on the tp".

Hamster

29 views · Cosmo idk · 1 year ago

A picture shows a research lab with three scientists in lab coats. In the foreground, two scientists have their arms raised and their bodies are slightly bent over as if in shock. Behind them is another scientist and all around them are small hamsters with flames coming out of their backs. There is text at the bottom which reads: "Before DOGE Cuts Funding, NIH Working Feverishly To Complete Study On The Effects Of Giving Meth To Jetpack-Wearing Hamsters. CAMBRIDGE, MA - A team of high-level researchers expanded its working hours this week to intensify efforts to finish an important project before the D..."

Month

3 views · Small786 · 1 year ago

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.