Luck

Luck jokes

Lottery

    • Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."

    Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."

    Vagina

    • So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

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    • Orphan

    • Why are orphans lucky?

    Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.

    Guy

    • Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

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    • Truck

    • Don't Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt

    You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my V8 engine with the windows tinted Boy, we came from the bottom, got it out the mud Whole block jumpin' 'cause the subs stay hittin'. If they roll up on me, know I keep one tucked (ooh, yeah) Woo Tell them boys come and get me. I be ridin' through the city. Young, rich and I'm pretty. Homie, don't get it twisted. Keep a semi in the hemi (oh) Red cup full of Henny. My hitters come in plenties, for real. You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my Wood grain dash with the matte black finish And it match my shawty with the big ol' butt. Know them boys soft 'cause they got hard feelings. You can try me if you wanna go and test your luck (woo) Tell them boys come and get me (get me) I be ridin' through the city. Young, rich and I'm pretty (yeah) Homie, don't get it twisted (yeah) Keep a semi in the hemi (in the hemi) Red cup full of Henny (yeah, we drinking) My hitters come in plenties, for real. You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my Woo, ooh, woo, ooh, woo, ooh Don't touch my truck (woo, ooh) Don't touch my truck

    Condom

    • The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."

    The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."

    The condom just sitting there laughing.

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    • Bisexual man

    • What is gay - curious 🤔 😳

    👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.

    👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?

    🚲 🚲 🚲

    😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.

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    • Tree

    • I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

    Orphan

    • Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!

    Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

    Good luck, Jake.