Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
What do you call a rapper who loves gardening?
Dr. Dre-seed.
