Love jokes

Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.

Oh wait, I am.

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Why do rappers love the gym?

'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.

Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.

I love all races, even the bad ones.

What's a prostitute's favorite snack?

Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.