What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
How did the orphan lose its parents?
It’s parents never came back from getting milk.
Kms.
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
