One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Why can't orphanages play baseball?
Because there's no home to go to.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
Oh... one comes back.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
