White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Lose Jokes
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
