Lose jokes
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
How did the orphan lose its parents?
Its parents never came back from getting milk.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the π is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of π? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! πΉ
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.