Why did Stephen hawking die
Cause he would never look both ways
U as tall as a giraffe. Well thats why u look like a baked bean!
isn't having Depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of fnaf/five night of freddies (if you don't know what Depersonalization is look it up)
A women decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.
’About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.<br> A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.
James Bond: vodka martini Bartender: shaken not sterd James Bond: do I look like I give a DAMN
Look for the gummy bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos and extras.
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
You think you guys are funny but look at ur hairline it be looking like the McDonald’s symbol😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
Are you for head and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Wife: looks in the mirror Wife: i look fat can you say something positive husband: at least your eyes work
Why does fallout look like Ohio ☠️
Bro why does Ohio look like fallout 4
looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
don't want to learn the landing part though, allah said it's unnecessary.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
you look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if i give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date,espicically the Dick and their Balls
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
McNeill mom wrote a shopping list for supper ... cabbage _50 Carrots-50 Cooking fat -100 Onions_20 Tomato-20 salt-10 Total=250 she gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients. McNeill took long to return home from the shopping ... His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long . McNeill answered I have all the ingredients but I'm looking for total
