Location jokes

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.

What mountain do people like to race on?

Mount Rushmore.

Get it?

Q: What did I find on my son's search history?

A: Where is the nearest gun shop?

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.

Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.

You live in the airport.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.

Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

Why did the chicken cross the road?...

To get to the other side.

Your hairline is so ugly, it's stretching down to Bikini Bottom.

I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.

What do you call a nerd in space?

A space nerd.

What happens when the Freedom Towers got hit? They step in Ground Zero.