Living Room Jokes

Superman and flash were in the living room pounding back a few beer flash says to Superman i bet you u can fly into wonder woman bed room and get the best pussy of your life so he does it when he goes back to flash Superman says to flash man that was great but my ass kinda burns

Mom:You can't die in the living room david so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself David:I will surpase kakarot Jordan:*dead on the living room floor

The Britain’s walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad they ask Mary the mum why she had blood all over her and she said someone dropped the butter they walked into the living room and Thomas was dead on the floor

A tweet by Vivian that reads: "single introverts be like if it's meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room."

There's a one story house everything's yellow even the kitchen living room and bedrooms what colour is the stairs

When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room

Which room is the safest place in the house?

The living room.

Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"

Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.

A guy once went hunting at a hunting ranch. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in the rancher’s living room. There they were having a grand ole time then the rancher’s wife walks in. The hunter says, “That’s a nice piece of ass you got yourself there.” The rancher replied with a harsh, raspy Southern chuckle from years of Marlboro Reds, “You’ve never been so right in your life. Honey, why don’t you show our guest your tits?” She agrees and shows the hunter her plump DD cup breasts.

The hunter says, “Nice.” Then the rancher said, “Show ‘em yer pecker now.” She agreed and whipped out a 13 incher. Dazed and confused, the hunter says, “What in Sam Hill is that?!” And the rancher replied, “Now... lemme tell you... there ain’t a thing like it.”