Livestock jokes
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A cow with no legs.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.