What do cows call money?
Moola.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
My sis a fat cow.
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
