Livestock jokes
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
What do you call a pig in a farm?
- A pig in a farm.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!