Livestock jokes
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
Stupid cow.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
I am a sheep.
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.