Livestock

Livestock jokes

Cow

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

Cow

What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?

The cowch (couch).

Cow

Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Right where you left it!

Cow

What do you call a cow with no legs?

It's still called a "cow."

Homework

Teacher: What is a cow?

Kid: Meat.

Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?

Kid: Eggs.

Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?

Kid: Homework.

Farmer

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

Cow

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh---

MOOOO!

Goose

Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?

A. A Billy Goose.

Rooster

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

Cow

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u