Livestock jokes
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
What do you call a cow with no leg?
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
What does a cow say? Moo.
What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
My sis a fat cow.