Livestock jokes
What do you call a cow with no leg?
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don鈥檛 work. 馃槀馃槀
What does a cow say? Moo.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
I am a sheep.
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A cow with no legs.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.