This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. he sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger. Mason: heh. good thing i eat like a horse. He looks up at the waiter. Waiter: you are a nasty little bunny, aren't you? Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him.... she was a HORSE.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why does michael jackson like chef boyardee? He likes the little balls
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common ? They both lie over little boys 😂
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee. SO his mom said he can have one. He got an esspresso not knowing depresso came with it.
When I was little I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people..until I turned 7 I realized that it was just people doing voices..sad isnt it
little johnny was late to class the teacher ask him where was he little johnny said i was on top of marry hill the a kid comes late to class and also said he was on marry hill then a little girl thats about 4 or 5 comes in the teacher ask who are you she said IM MARRY HILL
What time is bed time at Michael Jackson’s house? When the big hand touches the little hand
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...; “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!” The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no.” said the teacher terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.'”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids so I came and hellped
He won’t stand against the three of us!
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning 🌄? Because he heard little boys 👦 pants 👖 were half off!
