Liner Jokes

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?

Because he couldn't do standup.

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand up.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.