Line jokes
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
A project where people get lined up to be changed.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What's a Mexican's favorite song?
"I Walk the Line."
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?
Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.
Why are the lines on the gay pride flag straight?
Incest.
When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
Lilly's hairline was so fat that Charlene could not find it on Roblox.