Line Jokes

Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.

The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”

Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.

why are the lines on the gay pride flag straight🤨

If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?

(Stupid People)

What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?

The magician has a cunning array of stunts!

my hair line go's around the would but not my freind

A photo of two young people. The person in the front has blond hair pulled into a small bun on top of their head. They are looking down at the camera with a slight smirk. The person in the background has red hair, wears glasses, and is slightly blurred, looking at the camera. The text on the post says: "my hair line goes around the world but not my friend".

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"

Yo, hairline is as accurate as my jump shot.

Lilly's hairline was so fat that Charlene could not find it on Roblox.

The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.

What do you call a country's booty?

Its bottom line.

Why was the rapper bad at fishing?

Because he always threw back the lines!

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.

Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."

What’s long and black?

The line at the unemployment office

There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.

My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D