Line jokes

I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?

Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂

Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.

The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”

Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.

Incest.

When your genealogy chart is a straight line.

Why are the lines on the gay pride flag straight?

If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?

(Stupid People)

Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

Why was the rapper bad at fishing?

Because he always threw back the lines!

What do you call a country's booty?

Its bottom line.

The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.

Lilly's hairline was so fat that Charlene could not find it on Roblox.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

Yo, hairline is as accurate as my jump shot.

What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?

The magician has a cunning array of stunts!

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.

Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."