Line

Line jokes

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Suicide

  • What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

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    Emergency

  • "911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

    “I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

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    Cliff

  • COP: Are you high?

    ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

    COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.

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  • Tattoo

  • (amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

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    Sadness

  • After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

    Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

    Suicide

  • How do you know the hooker killed herself?

    She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

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    Father

  • You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

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