Line jokes

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.

What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?

You’re breathtaking!

What's long and black, the line to KFC.

COP: Are you high?

ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.

What is an orphan's hated movie line?

E.T. phone home.

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

How do you know the hooker killed herself?

She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭

Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.

Will Smith slapped your hairline to space.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?

Hitting it off with a cricket bat.

Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.

I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.