Like jokes
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Your hairline looks like the Antarctica waves.
Squirtle to Bulbasaur: "You kinda cum... like a baka..."
Your mum is stupid, just like you.
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
Yo head built like 2 parentheses.
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
Yo mama looks like the dinosaur from Lilo & Stitch.
Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.