Like jokes
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Your hairline looks like a brick wall.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
Yo, forehead reflects projectiles just like the shield in Strike Force Heroes.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Bro looks like his mom dropped him when he was a new born
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
You're so poor, you like postcards for food.
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.