My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
If I get 50 likes on this I swear🦋
Like if you think I'm stupid.
Heaven is like university, no one get in
Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
mase looks like a fat gay dude
Your mom is so ugly you look like her oh got em
this is not a joke, Tom i'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual i don't like you
A plane is about the crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out. A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a person man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, takes of shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mothers love Orphan: how come Me: you wouldn’t get it Orphan: . . . .
there is a kid in my school who is exactly like dahmer but he dont eat ppl. or does he.... hes dahmer's son @domink
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
What did jake say to peggy CALC-U-LATOR get it like catch you later
Your hairline look like the batman symbol
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap no feet 9 arms 17 stomachs you stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat NBA youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows to not be a cannibal, he knows somehow
don’t like this post or else I will go to your house and eat you 😈
