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Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.
20 likes by just cheese.
Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.
Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Art? More like fart! Hahahahhahahahahahhah!
Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
Why are emos like paper?
They cut easily.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
Nuns be like: Can I spread the word, but check for you?
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
BLM be like black lives matter everyone in this chat :). BLM= Bang Local MLFS.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.