Lightbulb jokes
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.