Lifestyle jokes
Why don't the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Memes
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
For orphans, every bag of chips is family sized.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What is a group of emos called?
A funeral.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.