Lifestyle jokes
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
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People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
Memes
For orphans, every bag of chips is family sized.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What is a group of emos called?
A funeral.
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.