Lifestyle jokes
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
Imagine being emo.
Couldn't be me.
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
Why don't the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What is a group of emos called?
A funeral.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
For orphans, every bag of chips is family sized.
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."