Lifestyle jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool.

If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.

How do emos like their meat cooked?

Medium rawr.

I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.

What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?

Tic-tac-toe.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.

How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.

There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.

What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.

Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.

What do you call a stoner when horny?

A weed whacker!

What’s a Cannibal’s Favorite Food?

Ra-men.

What's a cannibal's favorite place?

A day care.

Why do orphans like emos?

Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.

For an orphan, any bag of chips is family size.

Imagine being emo.

Couldn't be me.

Roses are red, oranges are orange.

Get a life, quit watching porn.

Why don't the Amish water ski?

The horses would drown.