Lifestyle jokes
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Q: What's an emo's favorite game? A: Hangman
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.