My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
Lifestyle Jokes
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Q: What's an emo's favorite game? A: Hangman
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
You live in the airport.
What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?
"Wanna hang?"
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
