Lifestyle jokes
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Q: What's an emo's favorite game? A: Hangman
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Memes
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.