Lifestyle jokes
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Q: What's an emo's favorite game? A: Hangman
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.