Life jokes
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
My whole life.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
I laughed at my life so hard.
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."