Life jokes
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?
A flower gets picked.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.