Let jokes

I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

Let me tell you a pun. Never mind, it's tearable.

Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.

Husband: let’s do this.

Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!

The IRS came to this man's house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money that's been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man thought, "Maybe I need to get a lawyer." So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down, and the agent said, "There has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account, and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it." The man says, "Yes, I do. I'm a gambler." The agent says, "You gamble with that much money?" The man says, "Yes, I'll give you an example. Alright, I bet you $5,000 that I can bite my left eye." Agent says, "Alright, deal." The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agent says, "That's not fair." The man says, "I'll let you get your money back, or even more. I bet you $7,500 I can bite my right eye." The agent, thinking, "I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick," so the agent says, "Deal." The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says, "That's not fair." The man replies, "Alright, I have another one. You're down $12,500. I'll bet you $15,000, if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room, I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere." The agent says, "That's impossible, you've got a deal." The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk, and the agent says, "I got you!" He's laughing and happy that he finally beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face, and the agent asked, "What's wrong with you?" and the lawyer replies, "The man bet me $100,000 he could piss on your desk, and you'd just love it."

Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she’ll let it goo!

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my was kicked, let's be friends?

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.