Laughter jokes
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Orphan, they're enough of a joke.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
The joke is this website.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.