Laughter jokes

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: I don't know anymore.

Yes, I'm CUTE.

C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

My life.

Tell me when you get it.

These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."

They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."

I like my humor like my people. Well done.

If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

The room was full of arm amputees.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.